1). Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor Tom
peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he asked
in his friendliest way, "What are you up to, Nancy?" "My goldfish died,"
replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The
neighbor commented, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because
he's inside your f**king cat."
2). A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy.
He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too.
John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself.Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter, Brooke
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he asked
in his friendliest way, "What are you up to, Nancy?" "My goldfish died,"
replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The
neighbor commented, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because
he's inside your f**king cat."
2). A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy.
He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too.
John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself.Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter, Brooke
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
