Its Wednesday with nothing to do!
1.) A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."
"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
"But what about the smell?"
"Just hold its nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
2.) Even God Enjoys a Good Laugh
>There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
>1. He called everyone "brother."
>2. He liked Gospel.
>3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
>1. He went into His Fathers business.
>2. He lived at home until he was 33.
>3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
>1. He talked with his hands.
>2. He had wine with every meal.
>3. He used olive oil.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
>1. He never cut his hair.
>2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
>3. He started a new religion.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
>1. He never got married.
>2. He was always telling stories.
> >3. He loved green pastures.
>But the most compelling evidence of all, 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
>1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
> >2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
>3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
1.) A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."
"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
"But what about the smell?"
"Just hold its nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
2.) Even God Enjoys a Good Laugh
>There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
>1. He called everyone "brother."
>2. He liked Gospel.
>3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
>1. He went into His Fathers business.
>2. He lived at home until he was 33.
>3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
>1. He talked with his hands.
>2. He had wine with every meal.
>3. He used olive oil.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
>1. He never cut his hair.
>2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
>3. He started a new religion.
>But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
>1. He never got married.
>2. He was always telling stories.
> >3. He loved green pastures.
>But the most compelling evidence of all, 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
>1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
> >2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
>3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
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Man goes up to the minister at the local church. "Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?"