Think you’re stupid or have bad luck? Read this.
2004 DARWIN AWARDS
>
> * According to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy
> Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the
> game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.
>
> * In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
> after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his
> car keys.
>
> * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
> accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
>
> * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
> * According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
> stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing..
>
> * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
> HONOURABLE MENTION:
>
> * In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a
> shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the
> hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.
>
> * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs
> in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and
> caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.
>
> * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife
> Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up
> in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to
> toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to
> notice the window was closed.
>
> RUNNER UP:
>
TACOMA, WA. Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
> they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the
> middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
> trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at
> the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who
> had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
> cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and
> the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
> tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
> survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can
> say "said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night."
> "There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>
>AND THE WINNER:
>
> Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
> constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
> than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
> let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated
> Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema
> when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's
> unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his
> head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his
> bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
> With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
> before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.
> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that "s**t happens."
2004 DARWIN AWARDS
>
> * According to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy
> Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the
> game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.
>
> * In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
> after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his
> car keys.
>
> * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
> accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
>
> * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
> * According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
> stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing..
>
> * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
> HONOURABLE MENTION:
>
> * In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a
> shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the
> hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.
>
> * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs
> in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and
> caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.
>
> * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife
> Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up
> in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to
> toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to
> notice the window was closed.
>
> RUNNER UP:
>
TACOMA, WA. Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
> they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the
> middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
> trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at
> the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who
> had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
> cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and
> the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
> tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
> survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can
> say "said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night."
> "There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>
>AND THE WINNER:
>
> Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
> constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
> than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
> let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated
> Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema
> when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's
> unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his
> head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his
> bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
> With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
> before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.
> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that "s**t happens."
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and I don’t know how to change it LOL, it reads retarded. 
J/K i dont care just looks all screwed up 
hehe