I need help w/ my Relationship

[paulx022]

Ok, so here's the deal. I need help, Me and my girlfriend have been together 3 years. She was my high school sweetheart (yes, I'm only 18). I love her to death and we've been together since she was 14 and me 15. For the first 1.5 years i was somewhat of a controlling jealous ass. I just didn't treat her the way she deserved, About a year ago we almost broke up and i realized that I needed to change because I just then realized that i did love her and did not want to be without her. Right around that time she started to change too, she used to be affectionate and really sweet. I never took her to do anything and we always just sat around the house and all i would do is work on my car and go to the gym. I never did anything a boyfriend should. Well this past 6 months to a year I've made a real attempt on changing several things in my life and to try to be the boyfriend she deserves. I started taking her to do things, i have let her go to various basketball games ect. without me, I've been really nice to her and showered her in affection. It seems like now everything is worst. I just don't understand. My life has been rough, When my mom and dad were together my mom had an affair with some douche and she put me in the middle of it. It got to the point where she'd have me lie and i would have to cover for her. My dad was addicted to pain medication after he got hurt during one of his competitions and it kindof ruined our relationship. So I think because of what my mom did and what My girlfriend's sister (she cheated on her husband) and various women in my life, I have just came to the point i don't trust women. My girlfriend has never done anything with anybody but me, i was her first everything. If i could've trusted anybody it would have been her. She isn't the flirty type and she doesn't have "bad friends" like most girls. I know she would never cheat on me but for some reason it's hard for me to trust. This past 6 months has been really hard on me; She treats me badly and i do EVERYTHING for her. Every time she wants anything, i always do it. She really is the only one i have so I don't want to break up and I'm the only one trying to keep us together. I want her to show me the same affection and i want her to show me she does care about us. I need some advice on how to change her back into she was, Please don't just post some bullshit calling me a fagget ect. I need serious advice because i do love her and she honestly is all i have good in my life at this point. Everything keeps falling apart, I got accepted to OSU but i dont want to go because i dont know what to do there. I had a full-time job at honda east but i got laid off, I found another job at a Honda dealership and i think i will be able to get a job as a freakin detailer again. But i really need your guys's advice on what to do to make her love me like she did. I just am the only one trying and she says that it's because she was unhappy for so long that it's hard for her to change. What should I do?
Again, please only serious answers. I would appreciate the help more than you guys know, I dont really have anybody else to talk to about it.

 

[mymmeryloss]

all due respect ur 18 and u need to live ur life.

dont miss out on going to osu or atleast tryin out new stuff..

people change, and relationships grow apart.

its hard and it sucks, but u have to have ur heart broken a few times before u can say u have truly lived.

 

[paulx022]

all due respect ur 18 and u need to live ur life.

dont miss out on going to osu or atleast tryin out new stuff..

people change, and relationships grow apart.

its hard and it sucks, but u have to have ur heart broken a few times before u can say u have truly lived.

but this is the only girl i have ever been with, She means everything to me and the thought of not being with her makes me sick. I want to be one of the few who can say that they married their high school sweetheart. I'm not the partying type, There has been soo many opportunities for me to have cheated. So many different girls have tried to talk to me and tried to hang out with me ect. I never even talked to them, i never even flirted. I cant see myself being with anybody else and even with my current girlfriend being how she is, its still the only time i'm happy is when I'm with her.

 

[Shiznit]

a college education is the best investment you can ever make.

 

[paulx022]

a college education is the best investment you can ever make.

I'm going to go, i just don't know anything in my life. i have no idea what i want to be, I'm just plain f**kin lost.

 

[vjf915]

she says that it's because she was unhappy for so long that it's hard for her to change. What should I do?

This says it all to me. She went through s**t for a while so it's hard for her to put her all into it now. My girlfriend and I were going through a similar situation, and are hopefully on our way back up. Your girlfriend got tired of your s**t, and is just damaged. You can't "make her love you" again, that is her direction to make by herself. The only advice I can give is to understand that you are now going through what she went through, and deal with it just as she did. One of two things will happen. Either she will bounce back, and you two will grow back together, or she will continue to drift away....in which case you need to just let go.

I have no idea what i want to be, I'm just plain f**kin lost.

I am three and a half years into college, and I still don't know exactly what I want to do. You need to go where life takes you, it is impossible to plan exactly where you will be at in 4-6 years when you get out of college. Talk to your adviser and tell them you don't know what you want to do, and want to take classes in some different fields. Go where life takes you, planning something and not getting there just f**ks s**t up.

 

[OTiS133]

dude idk what to say to make things better. i would say take a break and see how things go from there. if you let it go and it comes back it was meant to be. i know thats not much help and is hard advice to follow but sometimes its for the best.

 

[JohnS.]

but this is the only girl i have ever been with, She means everything to me and the thought of not being with her makes me sick. I want to be one of the few who can say that they married their high school sweetheart. I'm not the partying type, There has been soo many opportunities for me to have cheated. So many different girls have tried to talk to me and tried to hang out with me ect. I never even talked to them, i never even flirted. I cant see myself being with anybody else and even with my current girlfriend being how she is, its still the only time i'm happy is when I'm with her.

This is a typical high school relationship. You're not the only one who goes through this. A lot of high school relationships are fairy tales. I had one. She was my first girlfriend ever too. I thought I was in love. Then I went to college and I matured. I realized we didn't have to spend every waking moment together. I wanted to be independent, wanted my own space, didn't want to see her every single day, 20 times a day, etc. She couldn't accept it. She thought I didn't love her anymore and we grew apart and ultimately broke up.

Don't think you can't party, or make friends with other girls, or even flirt and have a TINY bit of fun. You're dating, you're not married. I believe that if a guy and girl (that are dating) think they both can't hang out with members of the opposite sex without getting jealous or angry at each other or even just feeling uncomfortable, there is something wrong in that relationship, even if it's the smallest thing. If you guys do truly love each other, with love, also comes respect, trust, and loyalty. You should not be thinking anything is going to happen with her and some guy she's hanging out with and she shouldn't be thinking anything is going to happen with you and some girl you are hanging out with. If something happens, something happens. s**t happens in life. This is the real world, it ain't some fairy tale relationship where everything is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes.

People change. Feelings change. Relationships change. What you're going through is completely normal. You will survive without her. You will get over her. You just need time to get over it, mature, and realize it.

I'm actually having some tough times dealing with some feelings I've had for a former best friend for a long time. We haven't spoken in months. We had a huge fight. I'm thinking about just sending her an e-mail and coming clean with her.

 

[R3dline]

maybe she is letting some dood stick it in her pooper. and she is over you. just saying. s**t happens girls turn into women, maybe she wants some new d**k. not being a a*****e or anything, just speaking truff my nigg

 

[Hecz]

I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman

 

[OblivionEK]

Wow this does sound like high school.

Don't beat yourself up over a girl, people should never rely on someone else to make them happy. If your unhappy, or she is, you both should grow up and don't worry about hurting each others feelings. If your not happy in a relationship and can't find a common, peaceful ground between the two of you, get out of the relationship. You may be attached because its your first girl, but their are lots more out there; get out and put your d**k in some other girl for a while. You'll both get over it sooner than you think.

 

[paulx022]

you guys have some s**t responses that i disagree with. i appreciate your guys's input. She came over tonight unannounced and told me she loved me and apologized for how she has been so hopefully things are going to turn around. She's never done that before and its wierd that its right after i posted this. Thanks guys, i appreciate it alot.

 

[OblivionEK]

You should have told us what you wanted to hear and let us repeat it, not ask for advice.

 

[R3dline]

its s**t responses cause we are for the most part all older than you , and been there done that, more than likely you wont be with this girl next year, you will get over it, and find some new pussy. its the way the world goes, bitchs come and go. then you find the one you know is the one, and marry her and have kids, and have a house , with 100's of bills and baby, and more bills , and dr bills and car notes, and more bills, and never get laid , and jerk off in the bathroom looking at the normal girls thread on cc, wait what?


anyways, your young, drop the b***h, go have fun while you can. when your pushing 30 like me, you will regret staying with some b***h you met in school instead of goin out and having fun with your freinds.

 

[Raabe]

Bitches come

Bitches go

way of the world

 

[vjf915]

you guys have some s**t responses that i disagree with. i appreciate your guys's input. She came over tonight unannounced and told me she loved me and apologized for how she has been so hopefully things are going to turn around. She's never done that before and its wierd that its right after i posted this. Thanks guys, i appreciate it alot.

Some didn't take this too seriously....mainly because asking for relationship advice on a major car forum is just out of place. So you need to expect to get some responses that are shitty. But others have offered good advice, whether it was what you wanted to hear or not.

 

[R3dline]

i think you should follow my advise, its the best

 

[paulx022]

its s**t responses cause we are for the most part all older than you , and been there done that, more than likely you wont be with this girl next year, you will get over it, and find some new pussy. its the way the world goes, bitchs come and go. then you find the one you know is the one, and marry her and have kids, and have a house , with 100's of bills and baby, and more bills , and dr bills and car notes, and more bills, and never get laid , and jerk off in the bathroom looking at the normal girls thread on cc, wait what?


anyways, your young, drop the b***h, go have fun while you can. when your pushing 30 like me, you will regret staying with some b***h you met in school instead of goin out and having fun with your freinds.

i've been with her three years. I bet i'll still be with her. To this day i will bump the thread if im with her next year. Idk man, you guys might know but this girl is different. You might say no and you've been there and its just a puppy love high school relationship but i dont think it is. I really appreciate your guys's responses and everybody at that, Thanks for being there and giving me some type of advice. I just needed somebody to talk to.

 

[R3dline]

i said the same kinda s**t when i was 18, beleive me, even if you are with her next year, you wont be 2 years . fact

 

[31dev31]

Women come and go. People and feelings change. Period.