I need help w/ my Relationship

[vjf915]

but this girl is different.

Believe it or not, almost EVERYBODY experiences this. I experienced that with my first girlfriend, then my second girlfriend, had two in between that were ehh, and now with my current girlfriend. This is exactly that situation that everything feels more extreme because it is happening TO YOU and it is happening RIGHT NOW. Trust me when I say that if you and her break up, a couple relationships down the road you will wonder what you were with her for. I know you won't believe it now, but EVERYONE experiences this.

 

[lethal6]

i said the same kinda s**t when i was 18, beleive me, even if you are with her next year, you wont be 2 years . fact

I was with my high school sweet heart for 5 years. 3 in high school and 2 while in college. I thought she was "the one". We were even engaged for a year.

Guess what....


Haven't talked to her in 10 years now. Probable won't ever again.

Things change, people grow apart. Especially when young. We, like most people, found out that it was young love and when we actually became adults we found out that we weren't really compatible.

Give it 5 years and you will probably barely remember what she looks like.

 

[vjf915]

One more thing to add. I would absolutely never go out with any of my 4 ex girlfriends ever again, but I do not regret going out with them. Relationships are a learning experience. From each and every one of my girlfriends, I have learned more and more about 1. what I want out of a relationship, and 2. what I am willing to put into a relationship.

 

[paulx022]

I was with my high school sweet heart for 5 years. 3 in high school and 2 while in college. I thought she was "the one". We were even engaged for a year.

Guess what....


Haven't talked to her in 10 years now. Probable won't ever again.

Things change, people grow apart. Especially when young. We, like most people, found out that it was young love and when we actually became adults we found out that we weren't really compatible.

Give it 5 years and you will probably barely remember what she looks like.

ok well thats fine if you think so, you guys might be right, you might be wrong. I might be an idiot but im not going to throw the relationship away because you guys say it wont last. I'd rather be part of the 14% who make it.

 

[OTiS133]

good luck bro. but if you two do split dont be a stalker or be all emo about it. go out there and tap some other girl for a while. hell be a man whore. its fun lol

 

[ScratchNSniff]

Paul, to give you some background on my situation, I am 22, girlfriend is 20...we have been together now since she was 14 and I was 16...long ass time...and I can honestly say that I have NEVER nor has she said that we don't 100% love each other...I just graduated from College on Tuesday, and she has been in the work world now for two years, since she got out of school...we flirt, we go out, we have a VERY open relationship...we think it is healthy to do so, but there are lines that we do not cross out of respect for each other...I have no problem with her going out to the club with the girls, just as she has no problem with me going out with the guys...the level of trust and security that we have for each other has been the same since the day we started dating...I have known her since she was 12 (yes very young, but her parents wouldn't let us date yet, lol)...she is the first and ONLY girl I have ever been with, but we are absolutely in love...we make every day we see each other no different than the first day we met...we like to go out still after almost 6 years of dating, we go on trips a few weekends a month...do I see her everyday, no, but if you don't have the connection now, I find it hard that it will be there...you have admitted that YOU are the reason that this has come about...YOU are what got it here....and unless YOU sit down and tell her how you feel, YOU will be the reason she leaves...she has given you the time, she has put up with the BS YOU have given her, and admitted to giving her for nearly two years...I think if anything you need to sit down with her and really talk things through, because if both of you cannot be honest now, then you never will be able to...

Hopefully this helps, but this is coming from someone that has been at that pivotal point in a relationship...right out of high school and transitioning into college...I have been through that step, and made it through the college part...now it is time for the next step for us, and that is real life...

 

[got traction]

me being a well mannered adult....i will give this advise...

I am 24, married to a girl i dated in high school. we've been married 2 or 3 years (cant remember) and have a 1 year old child together.

Your 18 years old, you havnt lived life, you probabily live at home with your parents and she does also. You have been accepted to a college to further your education and hopefully land a great job and be a successful contributer to society. DONT f**k IT UP!

I understand you love this girl, thats fine and dandy, but do not do not do not do not make life changing decisions based on a high school romance. In my case, after high school we broke up....she did her thing, i did mine and i was in the military stationed in california while she lived up in the seattle area...we got back together a year or so later, lived together for a while, then got married. We are on the same page, she goes out with her friends (which she did tonight), and i do my thing (traveling for races, building race cars, etc) but at 18 you dont know what you really want.

Your really young to make big decisions based off of feelings, dont do anything that could potentially screw you over in the long run considering the odds are against you with the relationship lasting. Have fun, be safe, and use a condom.



I know it sounds like people are bashing you, but when you get older you will realize this is sound advise. When i deal with high school kids now i want to beat common sense into them. You high schoolers now-a-days are alot different then when i was in high school

 

[BonyCatfish]

One more thing to add. I would absolutely never go out with any of my 4 ex girlfriends ever again, but I do not regret going out with them. Relationships are a learning experience. From each and every one of my girlfriends, I have learned more and more about 1. what I want out of a relationship, and 2. what I am willing to put into a relationship.

I also agree with you, but if something changes you can't be afraid to let go. All of my relationships have been really long, but no matter how good it is, sometimes girls get bored.
Just don't worry about letting her go, if you take a break you can both see how much each of you miss each other, or how you like a new experiment.
Good luck.

 

[lowlife9]

now she's got you wrapped around her little finger dude. you treated her like crap now she senses your weakness id be very cautious.

 

[purpej1]

Alot of you guys have very good and strong points. redline had me lmao tho you crazy man. Honestly dude i would say leave her because now that you've changed shes being the douche..lol. And trust me she is more than likely to have talked to a guy believe it or not who will stay in a messed up relationship without a side piece like really. I am also young and in love im 19 ive been with my woman since middle school but unlike you other one woman dudes i've been with plenty due to little breaks here and there..lol. so i've seen whats out there and trust me women are a trip.I would say communication is key sit her down and tell her how you feel i doubt she's a mind reader. Tell her look babe i've changed to make this better and your not appreciating it. Ask her on a serious note if she would like to continue on with the realtionship and if not to let you go so you can find someone who will appreciate and love you. Dont pass up things on a relationship that is not worth it trust me once you taste some new tight freaky girl pum pum you would forget what was her name...lol. dont live with regrets i mean dont get me worng i love my girl to death i would murder for her die for her we have two beautiful kids together been ingaged for 2 years and have a home together. But even i have my moments when i regret starting my family so young always thinking wondering how would it be if i went here or did this. Dont worry unlike some of these old farts im still kinda in your type of position so i know exactlly what your feeling its like the saying ''why give up my slot machine after i put all my quaters in it so the next man can hit the jackpot hell no''..lol.

 

[Ed[K*]]

imo anyone who refers a woman as a "b***h"
doesnt know what being with a real woman feels like.
and doesnt know s**t about a real relationship.
my advice, because iv been with the same girl since the
3rd grade (im serious) and i know where youre coming from bro,
keep the love strong. true, things have subsided bc now youre in her
shoes as she was in the beginning as you stated before. but fight on.
you said she came out of nowhere the other night to apologize??
thats a good thing. i say stay at it, its also a good thing that you too are
making some changes as well. and you said that you were both firsts to do "everything"
together? thats also a good thing to have and cherish. same story with me
usually me and thegf (we're 21 now) rent a hotel room for the night to get away people
and even family and just f**k nonstop lol its a good release from stress
at work,school,home,etc. im sure you catch my drift. take this advice
and use it, if you dont like what ive wrote im sorry, just trying to help. good luck bro,
i wish you the best!

 

[Ed[K*]]

I know it sounds like people are bashing you, but when you get older you will realize this is sound advise. When i deal with high school kids now i want to beat common sense into them. You high schoolers now-a-days are alot different then when i was in high school

listen to this guy, hes got good advice to share.
and his last statement couldnt be more true about
high schoolers these days even 7th and 8th graders lol
its amazing how evolution seems to be going in reverse..

 

[JohnS.]

Like everyone has said, most of us are older than you and have been in the same exact position as you. So we're just speaking from experience. We're not trying to be dicks. We're giving you a reality check.

You may spend the rest of your life with her. That's great. If you guys can last, good for you two. But like got traction said, DO NOT base your life on this girl. Do what you gotta do. An education is important. If you really want to be with her the rest of your life, you need to be able to provide for her later on. So go to school, study hard, get good grades, graduate, get a good job, and see where things go from there. If you f**k up, 5 years down the road, you're going to be kicking yourself in the ass for not doing things differently. I know I am. I regret a lot of things that I thought I never would in a million years when I was 18. My brother even told me, "You're going to regret it later on, trust me". I thought he was full of s**t and didn't listen to him. I told him, who are you...you don't know me, you don't know my relationship with my girlfriend. And now here I am, preaching his exact words to myself and kicking my own ass.

 

[ScratchNSniff]

Of all the things I do agree on is DO NOT PASS THE EDUCATION...

 

[paulx022]

imo anyone who refers a woman as a "b***h"
doesnt know what being with a real woman feels like.
and doesnt know s**t about a real relationship.
my advice, because iv been with the same girl since the
3rd grade (im serious) and i know where youre coming from bro,
keep the love strong. true, things have subsided bc now youre in her
shoes as she was in the beginning as you stated before. but fight on.
you said she came out of nowhere the other night to apologize??
thats a good thing. i say stay at it, its also a good thing that you too are
making some changes as well. and you said that you were both firsts to do "everything"
together? thats also a good thing to have and cherish. same story with me
usually me and thegf (we're 21 now) rent a hotel room for the night to get away people
and even family and just f**k nonstop lol its a good release from stress
at work,school,home,etc. im sure you catch my drift. take this advice
and use it, if you dont like what ive wrote im sorry, just trying to help. good luck bro,
i wish you the best!

Thanks man, you really helped. To be honest, Alot of girls want to be with me. Its not the fact that i cant get girls its that i dont want to. almost every time i go to the gym i always get talked to and they are always around me pretending not to accidentally bump into me and dumb stuff. It's not i cant find another girl, that wouldnt be a problem whatsoever. Its just this girl is different, your lucky dude. I have talked to her and it just seems like shes pulling away. I think im just going to let her go if she distances herself too much. She's beautiful, sweet, and has an amazing heart. She cares i know she does, i just need her to realize that she does love me more than she thinks. I'm just not one to throw something like that away. So what im going to do is just do what I do, just make her jealous and act like i dont care. It probably is annoying her me being soo lovey toward her ect.

 

[lowlife9]

ow man here we go stalker status.

 

[LowNotSlow]

She probably doesn't trust you because you were a total douche for so long.

You're not going to change her and you're not going to convince her she "does love me more than she thinks"

It may seem hard now but it comes and goes and better things will come along. If this relationship lasts then great, but understand it's not the end of the world if it doesn't.

 

[bizoneoeh]

I bet most of these fools on here giving advice don't even have girlfriends!



and if you've had a gf since elementary school..... just wait 'til she wonders what other's cocks feel like! and believe me.... she will wonder!

 

[vjf915]

So what im going to do is just do what I do, just make her jealous and act like i dont care. It probably is annoying her me being soo lovey toward her ect.

This is really the absolute worst thing you can do right now. Out of all the good advice that people surprisingly gave you, I am surprised that this is all you took out of it. If you really do this, you guys won't last 6 months let alone a year.

 

[Mr. Jollypants]

you guys have some s**t responses that i disagree with. i appreciate your guys's input. She came over tonight unannounced and told me she loved me and apologized for how she has been so hopefully things are going to turn around. She's never done that before and its wierd that its right after i posted this. Thanks guys, i appreciate it alot.

You come to a CAR FORUM to ask for RELATIONSHIP advice, and then say we give shitty advice? What did you expect, all of us to have psychology degrees?

Thanks man, you really helped. To be honest, Alot of girls want to be with me. Its not the fact that i cant get girls its that i dont want to. almost every time i go to the gym i always get talked to and they are always around me pretending not to accidentally bump into me and dumb stuff. It's not i cant find another girl, that wouldnt be a problem whatsoever. Its just this girl is different, your lucky dude. I have talked to her and it just seems like shes pulling away. I think im just going to let her go if she distances herself too much. She's beautiful, sweet, and has an amazing heart. She cares i know she does, i just need her to realize that she does love me more than she thinks. I'm just not one to throw something like that away. So what im going to do is just do what I do, just make her jealous and act like i dont care. It probably is annoying her me being soo lovey toward her ect.

This attitude tells it all. The fact that you THINK like this shows how much maturity you need to gain. The fact that your going to act like MORE of a douche tells it all again. THIS is the time to make her feel special, give her all your attention, show HER how much YOU love her.

This is probably the exact reason your in this situation, you act like your hot s**t, think your Mr. It and all the girls want you. Guess what Mr. No-one? Your not all that, your not hot s**t and not all the girls want you. Just because you get talked to doesn't mean they want you, I talk to girls at my gym, does it mean I want them? No.

Your relationships aren't going to last until you do the following: 1) Get over yourself. Your not all you think your made out to be. 2) Start acting like a MAN instead of a little b***h. You know what MEN do in this type of situation? They let the girl know how much he appreciates her, loves her, how much he NOTICES her. 3) You stop focusing on other women. The fact that you said "getting another girl is not a problem whatsoever" shows that you don't actually care about your current girlfriend.