***GREAT LAKES General Discussion Thread***

[anfrey]

Weddings you should expect money or gift cards as gifts if not registered at the usual places. Receptions, not so much. But if it is a gathering of friends and family in your case celebrating your union.

Would you and Bunny be willing to go cheap on the invites if it would make a little difference? Any other corners you can cut to save $$$?

I didn't get jack s*** from anyone except my father-in-law and my parents. I take that back, my best friend in NC got me a set of cheap steak knives. I still use them thought.

well it's a bit of both. we got courthouse married due to be being here on a student visa and needed to adjust status before my OPT ran out.... plus my parents didn't get to attend, so we're having an actual formal wedding ceremony on that day as well. our friend jesse will be officiating since he's gonna get internet ordained by ULC (united life church). we're atheists so this works well for us and it keeps us close to our friends.

i've cut down as much as i could, but with our $7k budget all we can do is invite 100 people total. i managed to get them to give us cake cutting and champagne for free...


here's the breakdown so far:

$500 - room rental (5 hours)
$300 - wedding ceremony
$2450 - 100 buffets (salad, veggies, 2 starches, 2 entrees)
$1850 - 100 open liquor packages
$115 - 1 security guard for 5 hours (needed per 100 guests)
$1154 - 21% facilty fee (basically their profit)
$385 - 7% sales tax on food/bev

this puts us at $6700, and i'd still need to rent some chairs for the outdoor ceremony and chair covers for the reception chairs on top of that. plus a dj, photographer, florist, invitations, wedding cake itself, etc. we're not even making the $7k budget like this and will have to put money aside the next six months to pay for those last four things...

i guess i could cut the open liquor to just wine and beer. that would save us $400 per 100 people, but i don't think people would be very happy with that lol, especially since they wouldn't be able to bring their own.

what do you think?

 

[itsmycookie]

man that's like a ninja650 turned into food and people.

 

[Jeegz]

Jess and I paid for everythingn ourselves.

 

[anfrey]

Jess and I paid for everythingn ourselves.

how many guests did you guys have at your wedding? and how do our costs compare? help me out experienced one!

also, you guys probably have way better paying jobs.

 

[connies96hatchie]

well it's a bit of both. we got courthouse married due to be being here on a student visa and needed to adjust status before my OPT ran out.... plus my parents didn't get to attend, so we're having an actual formal wedding ceremony on that day as well. our friend jesse will be officiating since he's gonna get internet ordained by ULC (united life church). we're atheists so this works well for us and it keeps us close to our friends.

i've cut down as much as i could, but with our $7k budget all we can do is invite 100 people total. i managed to get them to give us cake cutting and champagne for free...


here's the breakdown so far:

$500 - room rental (5 hours)
$300 - wedding ceremony
$2450 - 100 buffets (salad, veggies, 2 starches, 2 entrees)
$1850 - 100 open liquor packages
$115 - 1 security guard for 5 hours (needed per 100 guests)
$1154 - 21% facilty fee (basically their profit)
$385 - 7% sales tax on food/bev

this puts us at $6700, and i'd still need to rent some chairs for the outdoor ceremony and chair covers for the reception chairs on top of that. plus a dj, photographer, florist, invitations, wedding cake itself, etc. we're not even making the $7k budget like this and will have to put money aside the next six months to pay for those last four things...

i guess i could cut the open liquor to just wine and beer. that would save us $400 per 100 people, but i don't think people would be very happy with that lol, especially since they wouldn't be able to bring their own.

what do you think?

Wait I thought you were already a US citizen like 4 or 5 years ago, Anfrey? Am I living under a rock and missed this?

Do you guys NEED liqour? Or is it to satisfy guests? Can you do without it or is that part of the package deal? I've seen people at dry weddings bring their own and have a gathering by the trunk of that guests car for hours. Another way to weed out useless guests too.

What is the $300 wedding for? Or is that just for your friend to officiate? Is it the flowers or space decorations? Can it be done away with if none of these questions fit?

So the golf course banquet is making the cake? I hope they have a good pastry chef... Or I'd be pissed with poopy cake.

When I started planning for mine and John's wedding in 2004, The moment I mentioned I would have an open bar to all of my family and friends, people were lining up. Of course we broke up so many times since then. I was so glad I didn't have to have that mess to deal with when I was pregnant with Angelina in 2008. Did our quickie wedding with my dad as my witness and that was that. I don't even think we asked or told my father-in-law that's what we did. Me, John and my parents went to Buca di Beppo as my reception for 3 hours.

I have no desire anymore to have a traditional wedding. Maybe to try on dresses for fun...

 

[anfrey]

Wait I thought you were already a US citizen like 4 or 5 years ago, Anfrey? Am I living under a rock and missed this?

nope. an F-1 student visa is a non-immigrant visa so none of these years count towards residency nor citizenship.with our marriage it's solidified, though, and i've started the application process towards permanent residency (aka green card). did you know the gov't charges $1500 just to apply?[/quote]

Do you guys NEED liqour? Or is it to satisfy guests? Can you do without it or is that part of the package deal? I've seen people at dry weddings bring their own and have a gathering by the trunk of that guests car for hours. Another way to weed out useless guests too.

well, you know i don't drink. it's mostly for the guests. and bunny. i'm pretty sure she'll want to get drunk that night lol. also the venue specifically forbids bringing any outside food/drink (other than the wedding cake)... i could go for the cheaper wine/beer option but that only saves around $400... though that would be enough to cover for nine more guests or cover other things (such as photog, dj, florals, etc).. i'm still considering this. also, the buffet option we chose is the cheapest one available.

What is the $300 wedding for? Or is that just for your friend to officiate? Is it the flowers or space decorations? Can it be done away with if none of these questions fit?

it's to allow for a ceremony on their lawn with their trellis thing. it's mostly because we only had a couple of people (under a handful) for our courthouse thing, and because my parents didn't get to experience us getting marriage... so this is more for my parents and our friends.. and bunny as well. she deserves a nice wedding, imho.

So the golf course banquet is making the cake? I hope they have a good pastry chef... Or I'd be pissed with poopy cake.

no, we'll be having one of my MIL's friends make the cake for us and they venue will give us cutting/plating services for free (usually a 50c/person charge).[/quote]

When I started planning for mine and John's wedding in 2004, The moment I mentioned I would have an open bar to all of my family and friends, people were lining up. Of course we broke up so many times since then. I was so glad I didn't have to have that mess to deal with when I was pregnant with Angelina in 2008. Did our quickie wedding with my dad as my witness and that was that. I don't even think we asked or told my father-in-law that's what we did. Me, John and my parents went to Buca di Beppo as my reception for 3 hours.

that sounds like our courthouse wedding on halloween. we went to have lunch at a celtic tavern (fiddler's hearth public house) after the wedding and that was that. i had a shepherd's pie... yum yum!

I have no desire anymore to have a traditional wedding. Maybe to try on dresses for fun...

we're atheists so it'll be secular. also, bunny's not a girly-girl at all but i believe she deserves a day to feel and be a princess and have her friends look up to her with envy lol.

 

[Jeegz]

how many guests did you guys have at your wedding? and how do our costs compare? help me out experienced one!

also, you guys probably have way better paying jobs.

It was les than 100. Also cut the open bar. it wont dissappoint anyone believe me. we didnt have one and people still got friggin hammered. Dinner was like $20 something a plate. Our cake was a few hundred. WE rented our tux's. We only rented a limo for 2 hours. We did all the deorations ourselves. We also had the dinner and reception at the same place which cut down on costs.

Also this palce you reserved sounds like they are rapping you. We got free champagne, free serving of the cake. Also we got a discount on the DJ through Jessica's work. We found as many angles as possible to save money.

 

[itsmycookie]

is there any way you could have drink tickets? so like each person would get 1 drink free then they;d have to pay for their next one?

 

[connies96hatchie]

did you know the gov't charges $1500 just to apply?

So... ugh... how bad do you want to be an American?

 

[anfrey]

It was les than 100. Also cut the open bar. it wont dissappoint anyone believe me. we didnt have one and people still got friggin hammered. Dinner was like $20 something a plate. Our cake was a few hundred. WE rented our tux's. We only rented a limo for 2 hours. We did all the deorations ourselves. We also had the dinner and reception at the same place which cut down on costs.

Also this palce you reserved sounds like they are rapping you. We got free champagne, free serving of the cake. Also we got a discount on the DJ through Jessica's work. We found as many angles as possible to save money.

yeah, i'm highly considering dropping the open bar... unlimited soft drinks is 8 bucks cheaper per person, which comes out to at least $800 in savings. plus we can have them set up a cash bar, though i'd have to pay $90 per bartender. still, $700 saved is good.

not sure how much the cake is gonna be. bunny's mom is handling that part of it... and we're definitely just renting tuxes. bunny is probably buying her dress, but she's very frugal when it comes to shopping for stuff. she told me she found one she likes that costs about $350 or $400, which isn't too crazy, especially compared to how much some other dresses are going for. dunno if we'll rent a limo. we may just drive there in my car or her's, though she's probably want the limo experience. we're definitely decorating ourselves as much as we can, though the venue insists on us renting chair covers from them... our champagne and cake service will be free. i told them other places were including it for no charge so they dropped the cost. they also said they would work with me on pricing to stay within budget... something about sitting with them and plugging numbers into the spreadsheet. thanks for the heads up and the ideas. we're trying not to go broke nor in debt over this, but we really want to be able to feed as many of our friends as possible and have them present.

is there any way you could have drink tickets? so like each person would get 1 drink free then they;d have to pay for their next one?

cash bar may offer tickets. i haven't talked to them about that yet. i just got the contract in the mail for us to sign last friday.

So... ugh... how bad do you want to be an American?

oh, that's just for permanent residency (green card). and it's just an application with no guarantee.... there's a whole other fee for a naturalization application, but that's "only" $680. honestly, i'm don't really like the the part in the oath of allegiance where i must swear to "bear arms for the armed forces [...] when required" since i'm a pacifist and that goes against everything i believe in. i've read that they can strike that and provide a modified oath based on religious beliefs, but i don't know if they would accept that from an atheist. it's not necessarily a religious belief, it's one of moral code.

 

[Jeegz]

Just remember Anfrey, anyone who comes to this is coming to celebration of your lives coming together as one. If they cannot handle the fact there isnt an open bar, then they arent friends at all.

 

[connies96hatchie]

Just remember Anfrey, anyone who comes to this is coming to celebration of your lives coming together as one. If they cannot handle the fact there isnt an open bar, then they arent friends at all.

So should we start planning a CC meet again? Feel free to chime in Hector...

 

[somejaykid]

so what are we talking about now? didn't read cuz it's so f***ing long anybody got cliffs for me?

 

[itsmycookie]

so what are we talking about now? didn't read cuz it's so f***ing long anybody got cliffs for me?

anfrey's trying to calculate his weekly hoe money increase he;ll need to keep all his fellow pimps happy at his part.

so far looks like them hoes gunna be working double shifts. or more than one patron at a time.

 

[somejaykid]

why does he need money for?

 

[DOPE D16Y8]

What a beautiful site - the winter's been nice how bout a early spring meet on one of this 56 degree days huh?

 

[DOPE D16Y8]

What a beautiful site - the winter's been nice how bout a early spring meet on one of this 56 degree days huh?

 

[anfrey]

Just remember Anfrey, anyone who comes to this is coming to celebration of your lives coming together as one. If they cannot handle the fact there isnt an open bar, then they arent friends at all.

agreed. we're gonna go for unlimited beer & wine and try to cut costs in more places. this alone saves us over $450 (forgot to factor in taxes and service fee before). now maybe we can hire a photog...

 

[hooked_on4]

lazy ass Jay lol

Anf, I usually give 60-80 bucks per person for a wedding gift, I think you should make up for a lot of cost on the back end.

I think open bar is a good thing, you want people to get loose and all have fun, if you can't BYOB then you have to provide it IMO.

Good luck man!

 

[B16Ferio]

any peeps from the chicago burbs on here?