Honestly, looks are superficial, and most women don't care as much as they would have us believe they do.My girlfriend, sorry ex, got with me not for my looks. She liked me for my personality and because I act like gentleman.
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Find that common ground: be a gentlemen, be courteous, be chivalrous, but stand your ground and make sure you have a backbone when it's needed! Enough of that crap though, you need to work on you, man. Take some time to get comfortable in your own skin. It will make relationships a lot more effortless.