CC's f**kMyLife thread

[civic96hb]

Alright I saw this on another forum and thought it would be funny.

It's off of the website fmylife.com.

Here's the concept:

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

Two months ago, I got called to a cardiac arrest. On scene, he was not breathing, and had no pulse. Myself and my EMT bagged the guy, shocked him, gave him drugs, and intubated him. We transported him to the hospital. He was stabalized, sedated, and 3 weeks later released from the hospital and expected to make a great recovery. About a week after he got home, we get called to come meet his son. We both do this for a living, and expect no thanks, but its always nice to get thanked for saving a life. We get to the place where his son is. He comes up to us and says "Where's my fathers watch?". When we tell him we were a little busy to notice whether his father was wearing a watch or not, he turns and walks away. He filed a complaint accusing us of stealing his fathers watch. It was a Casio. FML.

Lets hear your stories....

 

[TopGear_]

I love my life.

LML

 

[4bangincivic]

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

good god! that sucks


I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol FML

 

[civic96hb]

good god! that sucks


I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol

you forgot the FML at the end

 

[4bangincivic]

good god! that sucks


I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol FML

fixed!

 

[TopGear_]

I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol FML

Now that s**t is funny!

 

[NFR_AP2]

i dont have a car atm fml

wtf lol ftl no wai

 

[Kswest]

I threw a party towards the end of my senior year of high school and had one of my friends sister over to party with us. We all got pretty hammered and I ended up sleeping with my friends sister. I passed out for a good hour or so, woke up, went to the kitchen for some water, and saw the same girl riding my good buddy spenser reverse cowgirl style. Granted I chuckled cuz he got sloppy seconds. Now the bad part. We all passed out that night and she got up before all of us the next day, raided all of our wallets for about $200+ dollars, and left us a note saying "Thank you for paying for my services".

FML

 

[NFR_AP2]

I threw a party towards the end of my senior year of high school and had one of my friends sister over to party with us. We all got pretty hammered and I ended up sleeping with my friends sister. I passed out for a good hour or so, woke up, went to the kitchen for some water, and saw the same girl riding my good buddy spenser reverse cowgirl style. Granted I chuckled cuz he got sloppy seconds. Now the bad part. We all passed out that night and she got up before all of us the next day, raided all of our wallets for about $200+ dollars, and left us a note saying "Thank you for paying for my services".

FML

holy s**t bro....im laughing so hard

 

[4bangincivic]

I threw a party towards the end of my senior year of high school and had one of my friends sister over to party with us. We all got pretty hammered and I ended up sleeping with my friends sister. I passed out for a good hour or so, woke up, went to the kitchen for some water, and saw the same girl riding my good buddy spenser reverse cowgirl style. Granted I chuckled cuz he got sloppy seconds. Now the bad part. We all passed out that night and she got up before all of us the next day, raided all of our wallets for about $200+ dollars, and left us a note saying "Thank you for paying for my services".

FML

HAHAHAHA!!!

 

[98civikdx]

Today on my day off, I drove through a hail storm and several inches of water to get to a store so I could buy a new flashlight for work. They were sold out. FML

 

[Kswest]

Today on my day off, I drove through a hail storm and several inches of water to get to a store so I could buy a new flashlight for work. They were sold out. FML

Hmmmm. Not quite. That gets maybe a 'f**k me'. Now, say you had a cold air intake and you drove in this storm, found out they had no flashlights and then sucked up water and hydro locked your engine on your way home. That could be FML. Even more FML if you hydro lock somewhere without street lights and really could've used that flashlight they were out of.

 

[NFR_AP2]

Hmmmm. Not quite. That gets maybe a 'f**k me'. Now, say you had a cold air intake and you drove in this storm, found out they had no flashlights and then sucked up water and hydro locked your engine on your way home. That could be FML. Even more FML if you hydro lock somewhere without street lights and really could've used that flashlight they were out of.

wrd

 

[96swpdEK]

I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol FML

lol i had a party last night at my house and this dude s**t his pants in the bathroom.

i woke up this morning to s**t on the toilet seat, side of the toilet, on the bathroom floor, and on the floor mat. to top it all off he broke the window screen trying to throw his poop pants in the backyard after i let him borrow some basketball shorts. there was also s**t on the window frame.

i had to clean all that up hungover as f**k. and i will probably never see those shorts again, not that i want to anyways...

FML

 

[DarkCreep]

I threw a party towards the end of my senior year of high school and had one of my friends sister over to party with us. We all got pretty hammered and I ended up sleeping with my friends sister. I passed out for a good hour or so, woke up, went to the kitchen for some water, and saw the same girl riding my good buddy spenser reverse cowgirl style. Granted I chuckled cuz he got sloppy seconds. Now the bad part. We all passed out that night and she got up before all of us the next day, raided all of our wallets for about $200+ dollars, and left us a note saying "Thank you for paying for my services".

FML

LOL OMG!! hahahahahahhahah

 

[TiiM iiS l3eAsT]

I s**t my pants when I was super drunk one time. I thought I had pulled my pants down, turns out I didn't. lol FML

LOL !!!!

FTW !!!

 

[TiiM iiS l3eAsT]

I threw a party towards the end of my senior year of high school and had one of my friends sister over to party with us. We all got pretty hammered and I ended up sleeping with my friends sister. I passed out for a good hour or so, woke up, went to the kitchen for some water, and saw the same girl riding my good buddy spenser reverse cowgirl style. Granted I chuckled cuz he got sloppy seconds. Now the bad part. We all passed out that night and she got up before all of us the next day, raided all of our wallets for about $200+ dollars, and left us a note saying "Thank you for paying for my services".

FML

lol just curious, what did your friends sister look like ??

and wow what a dirty slut....thats just nasty lol...

 

[4bangincivic]

lol i had a party last night at my house and this dude s**t his pants in the bathroom.

i woke up this morning to s**t on the toilet seat, side of the toilet, on the bathroom floor, and on the floor mat. to top it all off he broke the window screen trying to throw his poop pants in the backyard after i let him borrow some basketball shorts. there was also s**t on the window frame.

i had to clean all that up hungover as f**k. and i will probably never see those shorts again, not that i want to anyways...

FML

well hey now..don't tell everyone

 

[Kswest]

lol just curious, what did your friends sister look like ??

and wow what a nasty slut....thats just dirty lol...

Decent. And I won't even give you the opportunity to say pics or it didn't happen. I'll hunt down a pic of her on facebook gimme a minute *wanders away*

Decent. Like I said.

Edit: and to this day, she still denies it all, sleeping with us, stealing our money, etc.

 

[TiiM iiS l3eAsT]

Decent. And I won't even give you the opportunity to say pics or it didn't happen. I'll hunt down a pic of her on facebook gimme a minute *wanders away*

Decent. Like I said.

Edit: and to this day, she still denies it all, sleeping with us, stealing our money, etc.

LOL thats crazy....ya shes decent looking...to bad she slept with you and your buddy in the same night....did she sleep with anyone else that night to lol....??